You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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