We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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