This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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