I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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