I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
