True but thats because hes a fetus.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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