Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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