I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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