i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
