the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize