Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
