Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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