your parents love me but you hate me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
