yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
bring money and cleavage
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
