It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
