I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
