i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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