This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
zippers are such a cool invention
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
