mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
