So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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