do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
