So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
