Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
