used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
In America we eat man semen.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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