we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
