Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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