How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
