what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
