do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
