Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
