can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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