dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
