Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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