Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
