I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
