Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
