his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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