I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
