the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
