sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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