Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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