remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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