1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
