Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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