She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize