he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
