i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
