if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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