The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
