Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
