i barfeds in our rink
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
