People with herpes should wear stickers.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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