so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
