Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
