Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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