So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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